My Alter Ego

My inspiration for my alter ego is from the book The Dressed Body, the chapter from fashion to Masquerade states, “when women tried to be men psychiatry debated whether they were lesbians”. If a girl dressed as a boy people would just assumed that that person is a Lesbian or Bi-sexual, because dressing masculine is viewed as trying to be a men figure, dress and act like a men.One of the best example is Brad Pitt’s daughter Shiloh, she a little kid who likes to dress up as tomboys. The reason I choose her because she’s a little girl that likes to wear male clothes, and her parents and media is accepting her dressing in whatever she likes, so why can’t we accept ordinary people who are dressed with whatever that makes them comfortable instead of being a stereotype and quick to judge their sexuality.

Feminine (Girlie) Vs. Masculine (tomboy)

I would consider myself as a pretty feminine female, I own alot of dresses, and I love wearing dresses because I think it compliments my figure because I don’t like wearing jeans because they are uncomfortable and I don’t look good in jeans. I always had long hair because I think if I have short hair I would look too masculine because of my height. If I wear a regular female t-shirt and jeans with short hair I feel that I look to masculine.

Here are some photos of me as what I consider my wardrobe to identity me. During summer I would wear a lot of dresses, and fall winter, mostly pants and leggings because is cold. My body cannot take the cold.

Alter Ego – Masculine as a tomboy

I wanted to dress up as a tomboy and more masculine to see how people will react and judge me just by the way I was dressed. People now a day are so judgmental that they will automatically judge; classify an individual as they see. Is like the norm where if a female is dressed more masculine then she must be a lesbian, and she might be the dominant that plays the male role in a lesbian relationship. There are a lot of female celebrities (Chris Lee, Zhou bi Chang) in China that are dressed as a tomboy but they are not lesbians, this had become the norm in Asia where many young female are dressed more masculine because they feel comfortable in male clothing. I wanted to explore if I dressed masculine if people would just automatically give me a look or think if I’m really a boy or girl or if I’m a lesbian.

Chris Lee

Zhou Bi chang

Outfit
I borrowed these clothing from my boyfriend. I wore his long sleeve collar shirt with a leather jacket over and his pair of jeans I paired it with my own boots because I couldn’t find his shoes they are too big for me. The jeans covered my boots so it looked pretty masculine

Date & Time: November 17, 2012 11am-11pm, 12hr
Location: Happy Harbor in San Gabriel and The Grove

I got dressed up and ready at my boyfriends house and we went to eat at Happy Harbor, I felt very uncomfortable wear male clothing because I felt that everyone is judging me. As I was walking to the resturant I just kept putting my head down because I felt very uncomfortable. But as I wore the outfit longer I began to let lose and just thought of it as an experiment something to try, and none of these people will ever see me again. As I was eating I asked my boyfriend if he felt uncomfortable with me dressed like a tomboy and he say “No, I don’t care what people think and you are my girlfriend” There were stares and people looked at me but it was not as bad as what I had imagine it would be.

The grove was the next stop, There were alot of people at the grove. I felt very self-consious when I was walking around at the grove there are kids, adults and elderly. I still felt very uncomfortable but I still managed to tell myself to not care about what people think of me because they have no idea of who I am or who are they to judge what kind of person I am. So I was walking around at each stores and just shopping I notice that when I walked in forever21 no one greeted me, and I was just looking around and trying out clothing, i got some looks. but I carried on, I went inside forever 21 because i had to return this very feminie dress I bought online. I purposely decided to return it on that day because i want to see how would the cashier react to me. So as I was returning it the cashier looked at me with this look like why did u bought this dress because I was dressed very masculine so it was weird that I would go buy a tie and short dress. She asked for my ID and I gave her my ID and credit card she did not even glance at my drivers license which I thought it was weird because she did not even look make sure I am the person the person I claim I am obvsiously I looked totally different from my ID. My boyfriend helped me took those photos and he taught me how to pose like a guy because I have no idea have guys would pose in picutures, so he told me to put my hands inside my pant pockets and cross my arms.

after that I continue walking around and occusionally I would get stares but alot of people were busy minding their own business I think people who really pay attention to their surroundings would take a second look at me and think why is this person dressed like that. Overall, I think I was self-conscious more than anything of myself, because I was scared of what people would think. I hope as I wear it the longer and the second time I would feel more comfortable.

Location 2: Santa Anita Mall
Time & Date: November 23 5pm-4am, 11 hr
Clothing: Sweatpants, Jacket, hats

On november 23, I went to santa anita mall at 5pm walked around with my outfit, I still felt super uncomfortable because I feel insecure dressing as a boy, I thought I didn’t care about how other people would judge me until this project I realized I do really care. At least this time I felt more comfortable dressing like then the previous time maybe because of the clothing I was wearing, I was wearing sweats instead of jeans. I feel a little weird walking around dressed like that because as you can see in my picture I was all covered up from top to bottom. As I was walking around there were alot of stares and people just looked at me I don’t know if it was the way I was dressed I guess I just looked a little suspicious because I was wearing a hat and the hood as well. After we walked around I went to watch a movie, I felt better because no one can see what I was dressed like in the dark. After the movie we walked around some movie and went to eat some snacks, there were older people that looked at me with stares but it didn’t bother me as much. After the movie, we realized theres sales in the mall so we lined up and stay around to sell what kind of sale it is. Many people were lining for A&F, I ended up just buying couple tops that was it.

Overall, I was pretty pleased with my project and my alter ego, because I never knew I was that insecure about myself. When I am dressed as a women I feel really comfortable and have alot of confidence other than going to school I really like dressing up to go out. When I go to school I am a bit lazy so I would just wear whatever and don’t put on as much makeup as I usually would if I go out. So when I had to dress like a tomboy I felt really insecure because I had no makeup on and wear all these baggy clothes. I personally did not feel comfortable at all wearing male clothing, because I am a female. I don’t like it when people stare at me and see if I am a boy or a girl and have this weird look on their face.

What I think of female I would think of a girl with long hair wearing a dress, so after I experimented with this project I went to cut my hair, for the longest time I always had long hair. I remember when I was a senior in high school I got a haircut and I cut it really short, I looked so bad. The lady that cut my hair totally messed it up and I went to a different barber and it just made it worst so three days into the new haircut I actually went to get extension because I thought I looked so much like a guy, I was not aware of how much I cared about my looks before until now. I actually like my haircut this time, although is short but I still feel very feminine, the barber suggested I cut it to a short hair bob but I was scared and I told him I want to see how this turn out maybe I can cut it shorter next time. I think I am going to cut it shorter next time just to see how I would look like. I remember theres so many times that I want to cut my hair short but I was always scared it won’t look good on me, this project also encourage me not to be so self-conscious, is just hair and it will grow back.

From this alter ego project I was dressed as a boy for 23 hours learned not to quickly judge people by their looks or how they dress because that can be false. What people wear or look like does not mean thats how they are. When I was dressed as a tomboy people who looked or stare at me would automatically assumed that I was a lesbian or tomboy because of how I looked. I really like this project because I got to experiment and actually got to know how self-consicous I was, and I always wanted to dress up like a tomboy but now I know I am more comfortable dressing as a girl.